Elusive Female Orgasm: Who is to Blame?

Female orgasm remains a contemporary issue in female s*xual experience because of its complexity both scientifically and naturally.

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Many factors such as culture and tradition, religion, education, exposure, communication and personality also contribute to the difficulties faced by couples to make female orgasm happen with every s*xual experience.

 

In a quest to make this near magical experience more accessible to more women, a couple of peopl were asked to share their views on the subject. It’s quite hilarious:

 

Bimbo, a 46-year-old Civil Servant and Relationship Counsellor, thinks it is a now social problem:

 

This is a big problem between many couples. Some years ago, this was not a very important issue in many relationships. Not because it was not there, but because couples hardly talked about it nor did they actually make it a subject of discussion among their friends. But today, things have changed. Nigerians are more enlightened, we are not only more conscious of our surroundings, but of ourselves too.

 

Women who were hitherto, subservient to their men are now gaining more grounds by the day. There is educational freedom, economic freedom, and a conscious pursuit of good health and general well being on the part of individuals as a whole. So, many women are no longer interested in handouts and leftovers from the men. Even where the women still lack economic power, they have the advantage of education and social awareness to help them get their goals.

 

So, it’s only natural that things can no longer remain as they were some 30, 20, or even 10 years ago. Women now want to live a more pleasurable and fulfilled life. Back then, women who were bold enough to demand and take what they knew was good for them in relationships were often castigated and labelled. In extreme cases, their men may even seek divorce because of these women’s perceived overbearing attitude. But now, the reverse is more or less the case.

 

The problem of sexual pleasures and this orgasm business cannot really be blamed on one of the partners. It is something that requires great participation from the two involved. If they are not putting in enough, then they will not get what they want. A man must be equal to the task of pleasuring his woman, this is what makes him the man.

 

And the woman must be willing to talk about it, take steps to effect corrections and relaxed enough to enjoy and then give equally. The man has more work to do simply because it is easier for him to reach orgasm, whether his partner enjoys it or not. But once a woman does not enjoy it, it is the end. It becomes sexual endurance rather than sexual pleasure.

 

Our men must be willing to learn. Education is a lifelong process, no one should feel too old or too big to learn something, especially what will bring peace and love to the home or relationship. You can now read up almost any subject on the internet. Watch movies with love themes, sex themes and even indulge yourself with your fantasies.

 

Remember the locker room discussions? You can re-enact them by discussing with guys who know more than you do. Share experiences and pick up few things that will be useful to you too. It is true that sex is based on instinct, no one teaches you how to go in and out of a woman, but you can be taught how to do it effectively to achieve the right purpose.

 

However, women too should also realise that it is not every day that a man will be able to get it up or perform optimally in the first place, especially when age begins to creep in. There are many men who lack the stamina and skill to satisfy a woman but ego will neither allow them admit it, much less seek help. So, they fly at half-mast and blame everything and everyone but themselves for the situation. If things are not going right at the work place, if there is a financial problem, or other emotional problems, erection can fail.

 

Illnesses such as hypertension, diabetes, obesity, cancer, depression, and prostate gland disorder can lead to erection failure some of the time. Women too have their off days. More importantly, when there are unresolved issues between couples, lovemaking becomes a near impossible task for the woman especially. If a woman is not happy with you, she will find it difficult to relax and enjoy the act with you.

 

This is often different with men. Some men even when they are aware that their partners are not in the right frame of mind to engage in the act, force themselves on them none the less and just take what they want. I have met quite a number of couples who disagree over very simple issues such as preference of style. There are many men who find it difficult to go down on their partners for personal reasons, yet they demand it of them, insisting it is not the same thing.

 

All these are not the right attitude to lovemaking. It is called lovemaking because it ought to be between two consenting adults who claim to have affection for each other. And if you are truly in love with someone, you cannot seek that which will hurt the person.

 

Another mistake that many men also believe that their women must love and please them once they are living up to the financial responsibilities. It is the duty of the wife to provide s*x on demand. They forget that money and lovemaking cannot be swapped for each other in a love relationship. The two must complement each other. Money makes most things possible, love makes all things bearable. Funny still, even men who can’t take adequate care of their families expect sex on demand.

 

Credits: Vanguard 

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This Post Was Published By: Tony Odijie

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