Tuesday 29 December 2015

12 Things To Know AboutDating If You Are In Your 20 s

1. You’re not “wasting your time” if you don’t
know whether or not you want to end up with the
person you’re dating. How can you know if you
really want to be with someone without giving it
a try?
2. But you might be wasting your time if you

know the person you’re with has no intention of
staying with you forever. Don’t hang around
because you think you can convince someone to
like you. Don’t assume someone is going to
change. Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t
take you seriously. Know your worth.
3. If you have a gut feeling that your significant
other isn’t the one, listen to it. Don’t ignore it
because your life timeline says you have to get
engaged in two years and you don’t want to go
through the process of finding someone new
again. The minute you start to feel uneasy about
your relationship, take action. You don’t want to
wake up at 30 and decide now is the time to find
someone else when you could have ended it
years ago.
4. It’s not worth it to stay with someone if all
you do is fight. If you aren’t married and you
don’t have kids, you shouldn’t have to keep trying
to fix your relationship. After all, you can only fix
so much. At some point you need to give it up,
move on, and remember that if it’s meant to be,
you’ll get back together.
5. And it’s definitely not worth it to stay with
someone who makes you cry. You deserve to be
happy, and there are plenty of people out there
who would do the opposite of causing you tears.
Why not start looking for that person now?
6. Don’t move in together because you think it
will save you money or because you have no one
to live with and you don’t want to move back in
with your parents. Move in together because you
love each other and because you are ready.
7. A shared home is not a reason to stay
together. An apartment is not a baby or a
marriage certificate. You don’t have to keep
fighting for your relationship because you’ve
already committed to each other financially. If
it’s not working, it’s not working, and you need to
accept that.
8. Don’t hook up with or date your friends. The
minute you get involved physically and/or
emotionally with a friend, you are taking a big
risk, both with your relationship with that person
and the relationship with all of your mutual
friends. If it goes well, great, but if it doesn’t,
your friends will either choose sides, destroying
your friend group, or they won’t choose sides at
all and will just feel uncomfortable around the
two of you. They’ll also never talk to you about
it, leaving you with no one to vent to when things
go south.
9. It’s never too early to start talking about what
you want in life with your partner. You might find
out after dating for five years that one of you
wants kids and the other doesn’t. But what if you
found that out five years ago? Wouldn’t you want
to address these types of situations now so you
don’t spend your 20s with someone it’s just not
going to work out with?
10. If someone wants to be with you, they will be
with you. You won’t have to convince them or
force them or annoy them. You won’t have to
listen to excuses like “I’m too busy for a
relationship” or “I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend/
girlfriend.” You won’t have to overanalyze
comments like “I’m not into you,” which — by the
way — always means they’re actually just not
into you. If two people are into each other, they
will be together. Sure, love sometimes isn’t
enough, but it’s enough to at least spark an
exclusive relationship — no work necessary.
11. Don’t compare your love life to anyone
else’s. It doesn’t matter if you feel like
“everyone is single” or “everyone is in a
relationship.” You need to do you. If it takes you
longer than your friends to find that special
someone, then so be it. And if you find that
special someone before any of your friends get
into serious relationships, then whatever. Life is
different for everyone. Go with it.
12. Don’t base decisions about your love life on a
timeline you created years ago of when you want
to be married and start having kids. Things will
happen when they happen. The only thing you’re
doing if you rush into something because of an
unofficial timeline is increasing your chance of a
divorce. You’re still young. Now is the time to try
things out and make crazy, impulsive decisions.
After all, there’s no such thing as a bad decision
when it comes to love. There are just
experiences that you learn from. And you’d
rather have those experiences at 28 than in your
30s, 40s, 50s or even later, right?

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